The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.       - Albert Ellis

The next paragraph is from From SparkPeople - because my purpose is about helping people to become aware, this is one topic I believe is most important to people's lives and that is choice. Once we realize (here is that awareness I'm so big on) that blaming others for where we are now is simply about playing the role of a victim can we consciously decide to make things different. 

Do you accept responsibly for your choices in life?
Do you feel in control of your life? No matter how negative events or actions may become, you are the only force that is able to determine the reaction. Often we fail to do this and instead blame the world for our feelings of sadness, rejection, and hopelessness. The reality is that your actions are a choice, and you must claim those feelings and choices. We can be our best cheerleader or worst enemy when it comes to determining the health of our emotions. Do some pep talks with yourself each morning. This will help you develop positive, self-affirming thoughts that will enhance your personal development and growth.

For example when we realize that all of our actions - from eating that huge portion of chocolate cake to not exercising to not asking for the raise we deserve - are our choices.  And when we lay the blame it is just a story that we are holding onto.  Some of our stories can be from childhood and what our parents did or didn't do for us.  Understanding these stories are neither right, wrong, good or bad is the beginning of moving past our stories, leaving the victim role behind and creating a new and exciting story.  I might have written about this topic before but I think it bares repeating.  It is such a great topic to write about in our morning pages - something I will discuss further in my workshop on April 4th.  I still will make mention in my morning pages of when I was laying blame and acting like a victim.  It takes a lot of practice to let go of what has been our story for sooo long.  (And this is a new blog topic - why do we stay stuck and the payoffs?) I try to remember that these stories weigh me down - literally and figuratively.  So create the new stories (great Morning Pages material as well!) to be light and uplifting.  Remember it's our choice!


QUOTES

There are two primary choices in life:  to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.  Denis Waitley

The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes.  That's the day we truly grow up.  John Maxwell